Teenage Drama

I went to an all-girls school until I was 17. You can probably tell what I am about to write today.

I have friends like any normal teenager. Friends who really clicked with me always ended up getting segregated into other classes each year. You see, every year, everyone gets reshuffled into different classes. Can’t figure out why they did that. Probably to make you mix around? So yes, I always ended up separated from “my group” and I had to readjust every year to new classmates. I remember it being very stressful for me. I was an introvert. Still am!

But being a teenager in an all-girls school, I always try hard to fit in!

Somehow, I ended up with this group of girls during one year. Wanted to feel like I belong, I liked what they liked. I joined a school club that they joined. I laughed at their jokes. I was so eager to please! Nevertheless, I always had an inkling feeling that I was an outcast in their group. That we never really clicked. But I stuck around anyway.

Signs like how they agreed to not attend a certain club activity without informing me, thus I ended up being alone the whole day was dismissed time and again. Anything was better than being alone and groupless! 

One day, I agreed to sign on a 2-day-camp, organised by that club – my very first time spending 2 nights outside home in a strange place. They said it would be fun, of course I nodded with them!

Obviously, I wanted to stick to “my group” so that we could sleep together. I can’t really remember small details but this is what I recall. We arrived at a room with a few beds (how many I can’t remember). All with a pillow except one. We rushed in laughing and “booked” beds. I was last, so I sat on the single bed without a pillow, giggling with them. Then one of the organisers peeked through the door and said there were too many of us in a room, one of us had to move to the next room.

Who should go to the next room and sleep with strangers? We looked at each other.

“The one without a pillow,” one of them said softly, without looking at me. I thought I saw someone elbowed her, but I couldn’t be sure.

Without any protests, worried that I might cause trouble and make others upset, I smiled and said I will go to the other room (albeit very unwilling to). I felt sad that no one objected and asked me to stay, that we would think of something. No, I moved and they didn’t miss me. Again, I dismissed my feelings, saying to myself that it was only fair that the one without the pillow should go. It wasn’t their fault.

Throughout that day, I felt like I was being ignored. They left me behind in everything, stuck together and had conversations that I could not follow. That night, I barely slept and felt really horrible. I can’t remember whether I cried.

The next morning, I faked a tummy-ache and insisted I must call my father to come take me home. I left without saying goodbye to anyone.

Next week at school, I quit the group. We never fought, I never confronted them about anything. I simply stopped hanging out with them and they moved on without me.

I hold no grudges, this is just something which I cannot forget.

Do you have any high school/teenage drama stories to share?

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21 comments on “Teenage Drama

  1. jgavinallan says:

    Tien:
    Excuse me…but is this group international…I think I tried then also…for about two days…

    You did right thing…I learned something that is American…to describe that kind of group…you merely say…dah hell wit dem!
    Jaye

    • Tien says:

      Hi Jaye! I never understood why teenage girls had to be mean to each other. Some of the girls are still acquaintainces and I am sure many wouldn’t remember this incident….this is just something silly that we went through together when we were kids 🙂

  2. Delvise says:

    I did similar things like you, try to fit in to the group, but at last I changed myself and also asked myself,”why should I have to change my personality just to fit in and accomadate their “needs”?”. So I just reverted back to my original usual self. Friends that accept you for who you are, are known as best friends, hence I have my own best friends because I choose to become my true self, vice versa. 😉

    • Tien says:

      We are in the same “team”….the unpopular team I guess haha! I wasn’t mad at them at the time. I quit the group not because I stood up for myself. I was just so scared of the feeling of being ignored that I cut off everything just not to risk being put in that position anymore. Ahhhh…..teenage drama, so glad we are grown-ups now 😉 Thanks for sharing Delvise!

  3. Eva ZHOU says:

    Thanks for sharing Tien! Love this article. 🙂

  4. says:

    Hi Tien,

    I find this story very sad. I think that belonging and fitting in is a desire everyone has. I also think that young girls being mean and petty happens as they to grow into adults. People unfortunately are inconsiderate at times. It wasn’t a nice thing to do.

    I always remember this story my mom told me. When she was young she was sitting on a piano bench with three girl friends who on cue stopped singing only to embarrass my mother. She stopped singing for many years because of that hurtful action. In the end though, my mom joined her church choir and regardless of what anyone says she sings her heart out.

    Please don’t let the foolish actions of young girls damage your right to shine. I’m sorry that happened. Maybe you can make peace with them or with yourself. Can you let this go? Will you let this go? When? Now.

    Julie

    • Tien says:

      Hi Julie! Thanks for sharing. I am glad your mother stepped out nevertheless! No, I hold no grudges. I think I have decided to let go the moment my father took me home that day. Some of the girls remained as acquaintainces throughout school and they are my facebook friends today. You are right Julie, young girls can be mean as they grow into adults. 🙂

  5. scrambled7 says:

    I was in an all girls school too, so I totally get what you mean.

  6. Aw poor you, they sound pretty bitchy! I remember a horrible camping experience with the Guides – our group leader was really mean and me and my friends just wanted to go home. Now I’d just refuse to go somewhere I don’t want to, life’s too short to put up with peopke who don’t want you there!

    • Tien says:

      Very true Vix! But being teenagers, we were so eager to please and “fit in” that we lose ourselves. Glad we are all grown ups now 😉 Thanks for sharing!

  7. D... says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that story Tien. You sound like such a sweet girl, cliques suck sometimes. And they don’t stay in high school sometimes. I had a “best friend” and we went to Vegas when we were 21 with her friends who worked at Disney and her boyfriend, needless to say it was terrible and it ended up being longer than we had scheduled as her boyfriend had to go to the hospital because he went into a smoke filled room when he knew he wasn’t supposed to. We ended the friendship when we came back. I’ve also been left out of a clique at work, I tried to not hold a grudge, but all that backbiting was gross. Grown women acting like children, it was ridiculous. But at the same time I’ve been in groups, and others just don’t fit in and you try to get them to, but they just don’t. So you end up being polite because you don’t want to hurt them, but you don’t feel comfortable around them. Some people just don’t click I suppose.

    • Tien says:

      Thanks for sharing Danielle! I am sad to hear that you had to endure similar drama in your workplace. But you are right, when it doesn’t click, it just doesn’t….the chemistry is hard to explain.

      • D... says:

        I found a way to work with those odd women, it was so ridiculous that grown women who were old enough to be my Mother were acting that way. I just tried to be as pleasant as possible and stand my ground. After a while I got tired of it and left though, it was more than time to leave. Since then I’ve just been a bit of a gypsy, I’ve taken on different roles and gotten my Masters, but I still don’t know what to do.

        • Tien says:

          You made the right move Danielle. Sometimes it’s just best to walk away and not let this nonsense affect you. Shame on these women, behaving like juveniles!

  8. Patti says:

    I spent a lot of my time with guys as a teenager – not as a girlfriend type, just one of the guys – it was simpler. I always tell my daughter to do what you did if the drama or unfriendliness gets to be too much – just don’t hang out with them – no reason to pay back with unkindness – just move on. Some of them will learn more respectful behavior as they mature, some won’t – it’s best just to keep looking for folks you get along with well – even if they’re not part of a cool group.

    • Tien says:

      Hi, Patti! You give excellent advise regarding this, I am nodding away as I read your comment. It’s just a silly phase teenage girls go through. Yes, it is sad that some girls still grow up to be snobbish and arrogant women. Guy friends are definitely easier to hang out with. I guess girls are just emotional creatures who take things personally all the time 🙂

  9. […] me to write on the topic of being too nice. Somehow I got side-tracked and wrote a post about a teenage drama I endured instead. Anyway, if you have read that story – the pillow incident I call it […]

  10. Sarah Batool says:

    aww i really felt about the whole incident because as a child its harder to digest such things,,,anyways its not only about the teenagers but sometimes some things or people do not click n you did the best thing 🙂 moving on without any grudges is what a sensible person should do !!

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