Boyfriend

I grew up a nerd at school. Never been interested in boys – at least I didn’t admit to be – until very, very late into my teenage years.

While the popular girls were having puppy-love boyfriends and playing the dating field by 15, my first real date with a boy was when I was 18. I had no clue it was meant to be a date at the time. Perhaps it really wasn’t. It was supposed to be a group outing but in the end we were the only ones who showed up. So I guess it still counts? Otherwise, I would have to say my first real date was a year later when I was 19!!

Most of my girl friends have boyfriends by then. And when my mom noticed that I was more interested in watching TV than going out, she started asking, “Shouldn’t you be out enjoying your youth dating or something? You mean nobody is asking you out?!!” and other questions of the like.

It made me nervous and doubt myself. I was feeling insecure as her words sink in. Really, nobody asked me. Nobody was interested. And I started to get more insecure. Being a typical teenager and all. Um….being 19 is still considered being a teen right….? *blush*

That was the phase where I start to long for a boyfriend too, like how my friends have one each! Longing and dreaming to have someone I can call my boyfriend.

Fast forward 10 years, I am now in a steady relationship with Terry. My um….boyfriend.

Ironically, when I need to introduce him to anyone nowadays, I find referring him as my “boyfriend” very awkward…..bordering embarassing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not Terry whom I am embarrassed of, it’s the word “boyfriend”. Somehow it sounds so juvenile. Like I am too old to have a boyfriend. Do you ever feel that way?

Thank goodness for formalities in forms, I get to fill him in as my “partner” in the status column. You know, the part where you tick either single, married, divorced or partner? That gives me the option to use “partner” instead of “boyfriend” when introducing him. The grown-up version. I am much more comfortable with that term.

But then there are those who assume by “partner”, I meant “husband” and start referring Terry as my husband! Back to square one….awkward! I honestly don’t know how to react to that….yet. How do I politely correct them without further awkward follow-ups of “When are you getting married?” or “Why are you not married yet?”

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27 comments on “Boyfriend

  1. kimberlycun says:

    i know what u mean, i get embarassed using the word boyfriend too, i say it on my blog but when in real life i intro him, i just say partner haha

  2. D... says:

    Manfriend? Maybe manfriend is better. Partner sounds good, but it can confuse people. I think talking about him maybe boyfriend is good and then introducing him partner. Or you could be like Carrie and call him….your Lova 🙂

    Relationship guy? Really there isn’t anything good out there for adult relationships. I don’t think you are old by any stretch, it just feels weird because we’re adults. I’d never thought of it before. What about those couples who don’t want to get married? What do they say? I guess partner….

    • Tien says:

      Oh I remember that from the first SATC movie…manfriend haha!
      Well, I am um…older now 😉 I really think “partner” is very suitable and yes it sounds good, and matured too ahem! If we are married I would have said husband, so sometimes I don’t know why they would think partner means husband sighs.

  3. Gian Carlo says:

    Marry him, Tien ! 😉 And you’ll find saying the word “partner” isn’t awkward anymore 😀 haha
    And, can I sing for your wedding? hahaha . jus kidding 😉

  4. Tien says:

    Then I will refer him as my husband instead, Gian Carlo haha! Do you sing? Post a video on your blog!

  5. When I hear partner I think gay marriage. I felt a little juvenile calling Anthony my boyfriend, but I think it keeps things sounding young & sexy! People used to ask us all the time whem we were going to get engaged, and we’d reply “We are enjoying being in the moment right where we are. We love each other and right now that is enough for us” Damn nosy people, I hated that! LOL!
    xo
    Mindy

    • Tien says:

      That’s true Mindy. Somehow “boyfriend” is associated with young and hip and sexy 😉 I do too sometimes, because “partner” also applies to same-sex relationships. I know, sometimes people “care too much” 😉

  6. vixter2010 says:

    There’s no need to rush these things, I bet some of your friends regretted getting involved so young anyway. And sounds like he was worth the wait! I always thought partner was for non-hetrosexual relationships but I could be wrong! Maybe he’ll be husband one day soon 🙂

  7. Patti says:

    You could just call him “My Terry” – uses a completely appropriate name and establishes propietary relationship. 🙂

  8. shinloo says:

    i dont usually have to introduce my boyfriend to anyone lolz… but it gets weirder and more awkward when u have to introduce him to your relatives… though usually my mom will do the job 😉

  9. genn says:

    I agree with Mindy that partner somehow has a gay-ish connotation, not that I’m for or against.

    How about your Significant Other? Doesn’t sound juvenile like boyfriend, and gives the impression of a serious relationship.

  10. Michi says:

    Ahhh, the status thing is so INSANE. One time, after I had been with D-Man for a year, one of my friends called me up to ask, “Person A and I were wondering – do you consider D-man your boyfriend?”

    I was kind of taken aback. I responded with a casual, “Yess. Why?”

    And she said that it was because I always referred to him by name instead of by “my boyfriend.”

    I`ve never been quick to jump and categorize dating statuses. Even on FB, I didn’t fill in the relationship part until I got married, so when the staus went from nothing to “married,” people on FB were literally writing me messages asking me what happened!! Haha…people do care too much in this regard.

    Even now, it’s odd for me to call D-Man my “husband,” and I’ll usually just introduce him by using his first name. People can think what they want!

    • Tien says:

      Michi, haha that’s so funny! With facebook nowadays, people expect us to tell everything so they get “surprised” easily by sudden chnages I guess. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Claire says:

    Hey Tien… high 5 on the “boyfriendless” situation growing up. I thought I was the only one! Hahaha…

    Luckily, the both of us (my boyfriend and myself) are from the same circle of friends so there’s no need to actually introduce each other to anyone!

    But yeah, it still feels weird introducing him as my boyfriend. Every time I do that, I feel like I’m a high school girl 😛

    One time I was at the bank asking about joint-accounts and refered to him as ‘my partner’ to the bank lady… she gave me one look like “okay… she said partner… does she mean female or male partner?” hahaha

  12. shinyin says:

    i think i can live with the term boyfriend…. a lttle juvenile, but still okay… otherwise, i’ll just say we are together…

  13. jgavinallan says:

    I know how it can be—silly I mean. i went with someone that was certainly not a boy(age difference) yet, my friends use to say…”I saw your B/F”
    Labels are not important…what’s inside is what counts…I think you have found that.
    Jaye

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