Dating Me

The me few years ago cannot stand being seen alone in public. I cannot sit down at a restaurant to eat alone, or go shopping alone, or even walk comfortable on the street alone. I get very anxious and nervous when a friend comes late for an appointment, leaving me standing around waiting….alone! I would feel like everyone around me are staring at me, judging me for being alone and pathetic.

As I grew older, I appreciate my alone time more and more. I no longer feel the insecurity of not having company in public. Perhaps it finally hit me that, well no one really cares or notices anyway! Maybe I’ve grown more independent with age and no longer need the company of another to make me feel “unpathetic”.

I’ve always enjoyed going to the movies but I have never gone for a movie alone ever. I always thought going to the movies are meant for a group of friends and if I can’t find a friend to go, staying at home watching DVDs would be a better idea.

I haven’t watched a new released movie for ages. For one, it’s incredibly expensive to watch a movie in Auckland – $16.50 a pop! Secondly, I don’t think it’ll be worth it if Terry is going to sleep through it. He was very bored halfway through Transformers 2 and was snoring 30 minutes into Ratatouille (yes, Ratatouille!), can you believe…?? Terry has never been a movies kind of guy.

Anyway, I have recently bought 4 movie tickets from Grabone at 55% off. Instead of watching 2 shows with Terry, I am seriously considering watching 4 shows alone. I think I will have a good time dating myself 🙂

Have you watched a movie by yourself? Are you comfortable being alone in public?


36 comments on “Dating Me

  1. kimberlycun says:

    can totally relate! we all need a some time alone to just do something without thing about whether the other person enjoys it or not

  2. vixter2010 says:

    Sometimes alone time is good and I hate people who talk / sleep during a film when I just want to watch it. I tend to get films on DVDs so I can watch on my own, I’ve never been to cinema by myself but i think it’s fine!

  3. rossie says:

    tien.. like this post!! walking.. shopping alone, would be no problem to me now .. but not movie.. huhu.. sure it’s gonna be a longggg show.. btw i recommend u the new ben stiller and jen aniston’s movie: just go with it.. soooo funny and romantic.. n rio for animation movie.. 🙂

    • Tien says:

      Me too, I actually quite enjoy shopping alone haha! Okay, thanks for the recommendation! I was thinking 2 light comedies and 2 intense Oscar runners for balance 😉 Will let you know how it goes!

  4. D... says:

    We moved a lot as a kid, so I didn’t have real friends as a kid. I made friends, but I was never close to anyone. So I am used to being by myself. But I as a teen and an adult I used to hanging out with friends, it’s not till I got a lot older did I really appreciate my alone time. I really like my me time. Although having lunch with yourself can feel conspicuous at times.

    • Tien says:

      Me too, I find myself enjoying me time as I age too. Oh, I am at the stage where I couldn’t care less if I am alone or not in public….including lunch alone 🙂

  5. Anonymous says:

    Before studying in Australia, I’ve never really been anywhere alone. But being new to a foreign land, I’ve developed a ‘I dont care’ attitude of people seeing me alone, cause nobody actually knows you, and for that matter, nobody cares. Even now, back in Penang, going places alone does not bother me, cause I’ve got Android hahaha!

    Well, but going to the movies alone … hmmmm still not there yet. 🙂

    • Tien says:

      Hi there! Thanks for your comment! True, I think generally people out of Asia are quite carefree and less judgemental. I’ll update on how it goes with my little date at the movies 🙂

  6. evazhou says:

    Hi Tien, your article is very interesting to read. 🙂 Ratatouille is one of my favorite animation movies. I love to watch good movies on BIG screen. I enjoy the visual details that shows. ^^

    • Tien says:

      Hi Eva! Thanks for dropping by and your nice comment! Yes, I miss the big screen… 🙂 I still find it hard to believe that Terry slept through Ratatouille, you know with the animation and comedy and all…lol!

  7. Beth Ann says:

    I have gone to the movies alone and it is kind of daunting the first time you do it but you know—I see a lot of single folks when I go so I think it is just my insecurity that prevented me from going alone in the first place! You can do it!!! And by the way….did I tell you how much my husband and I LOVE New Zealand???? Spent a short 8 days there and loveeeeeedddd it and the people!!!! Auckland was awesome!!!

    • Tien says:

      Agree, I always link my being uncomfortable being alone in public to insecurities within myself. How that I am fine with it, I am eager to try going to the movies alone 🙂 Wow, you should blog about your trip, or have you Beth?

      • Beth Ann says:

        I did blog about it!!! Waaaay back in the archives!!! LOL We lived in Australia for a year and then on our way back to the US we spent time in New Zealand. I guess it was early April 2009 if you want to see what I blogged about!!!!

  8. Delvise says:

    I do things alone; eat alone, walk alone, watch movie alone, etc…..enjoying every seconds of the day. A few % of my time with some friends but I cherish a lot on my alone time. I even watched horror movie alone before. =p

  9. authorjaneward says:

    I used to love going to the movies by myself when I was younger, and recently went solo to a concert. I liked not having to worry if another person with me was or was not enjoying the experiencing, and that made me relax and enjoy it more.

    But I’m with you when it comes to showing up in restaurants or pubs alone: I feel very uncomfortable.

    • Tien says:

      That’s a good point Jane. Going solo gives you the freedom to choose whatever you want, freely. I guess places like pubs and restaurants, people expect you to be with company. But I think I am beginning to care less about that as well. Having lunch alone doesn’t bother me that much now.

  10. Margie says:

    My husband sleeps through movies too, so we don’t bother going out to see them. It would be a waste of half of the money.
    I don’t mind doing lots of things alone. tI gives me the opportunity to decide exactly how I want to do something without having to accommodate the wishes of anyone else. I think that comes from having raised a family – mothers work hard to make everyone else happy, and once they have all moved away it is seriously nice to be selfish.

    • Tien says:

      I agree Margie, having the liberty of doing whatever we want without worrying about others is a good feeling 🙂 Ahhh, I say you definitely deserve to be “selfish” sometimes 😉

  11. I’ve learned to love me time! I sometimes like it better than “in company time”. The older I get, the more I realize that people waste so much time wondering what everyone else thinks about them. When in fact everyone is thinking the same! I think it’s part of getting that more mature “swagger” lol!

    I’ve gone to a movie alone. It’s just like going with somebody else since you don’t really talk to each other during the film.


    • Tien says:

      You’ve got it spot on Mindy! Well, I like to watch than talk during a movie so I think I will really enjoy going for a movie alone. Will update on how it goes… 🙂

  12. Khanum says:

    Tien, When we ‘learn to live alone, it’s an alarm that we desperately need to be with somebody.

  13. Megan says:

    There was I time where I also was uncomfortable doing things by myself but somewhere along the way I too have grown to love and appreicate “me” time and doing things on my own in my own time. Makes me appreciate the little things more and pay attention to my surroundings… taking it all in. 🙂

  14. Khanum says:

    see on the’doing things on my own’ part I completely agree with you. I have become more mature in that term. There used to be a time I needed to take somebody with me anywhere I went . even if it was in school, If i wanted to go drink water I would take my friend with me. That was silly.

    But if ure talking abt longgggggg term ‘dating me thing’…ahh I cant imagine tht. They say….solitude is beautiful n sweet..but then we also need somebody to whom we can tell this .

  15. Sajib says:

    A few years ago you were too cute because of being so afraid 😉 😛

  16. Greger says:

    Going to the movies alone can be very relaxing. I enjoy going in off-hours when there are few others in the theatre.

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