I went to an all-girls school until I was 17. You can probably tell what I am about to write today.
I have friends like any normal teenager. Friends who really clicked with me always ended up getting segregated into other classes each year. You see, every year, everyone gets reshuffled into different classes. Can’t figure out why they did that. Probably to make you mix around? So yes, I always ended up separated from “my group” and I had to readjust every year to new classmates. I remember it being very stressful for me. I was an introvert. Still am!
But being a teenager in an all-girls school, I always try hard to fit in!
Somehow, I ended up with this group of girls during one year. Wanted to feel like I belong, I liked what they liked. I joined a school club that they joined. I laughed at their jokes. I was so eager to please! Nevertheless, I always had an inkling feeling that I was an outcast in their group. That we never really clicked. But I stuck around anyway.
Signs like how they agreed to not attend a certain club activity without informing me, thus I ended up being alone the whole day was dismissed time and again. Anything was better than being alone and groupless!
One day, I agreed to sign on a 2-day-camp, organised by that club - my very first time spending 2 nights outside home in a strange place. They said it would be fun, of course I nodded with them!
Obviously, I wanted to stick to “my group” so that we could sleep together. I can’t really remember small details but this is what I recall. We arrived at a room with a few beds (how many I can’t remember). All with a pillow except one. We rushed in laughing and “booked” beds. I was last, so I sat on the single bed without a pillow, giggling with them. Then one of the organisers peeked through the door and said there were too many of us in a room, one of us had to move to the next room.
Who should go to the next room and sleep with strangers? We looked at each other.
“The one without a pillow,” one of them said softly, without looking at me. I thought I saw someone elbowed her, but I couldn’t be sure.
Without any protests, worried that I might cause trouble and make others upset, I smiled and said I will go to the other room (albeit very unwilling to). I felt sad that no one objected and asked me to stay, that we would think of something. No, I moved and they didn’t miss me. Again, I dismissed my feelings, saying to myself that it was only fair that the one without the pillow should go. It wasn’t their fault.
Throughout that day, I felt like I was being ignored. They left me behind in everything, stuck together and had conversations that I could not follow. That night, I barely slept and felt really horrible. I can’t remember whether I cried.
The next morning, I faked a tummy-ache and insisted I must call my father to come take me home. I left without saying goodbye to anyone.
Next week at school, I quit the group. We never fought, I never confronted them about anything. I simply stopped hanging out with them and they moved on without me.
I hold no grudges, this is just something which I cannot forget.
Do you have any high school/teenage drama stories to share?
